Sex after Childbirth

During the first few months after childbirth, Dads need to be sensitive to their partner’s emotional and physical state.

Your partner will have an increased attachment to the baby as well as a strong desire to simply be held and loved. If there is ever a time to be more affectionate, more attentive and more loving than usual, this is it.

Do not pressure your partner into sex. Pregnancy, birth, and the early postpartum adjustment period leave a woman physically and emotionally drained. Having a baby can be a major shock to a woman’s system. Resuming intercourse ultimately depends on the condition of your partner’s physical and emotional well being.

Factors that may influence when and how a couple decides to resume their sex-life include:

• The childbirth: whether it has been traumatic physically or emotionally
• Men’s and women’s sexual desire and interest: this may be increased or decreased, often related to such things as their emotional relationship with their partner, their mood, energy levels, stress, self-esteem as well as mutual attraction, personal issues and fears
• Hormonal changes
• Your partner’s need to take care of the baby
• Fatigue: many couples experience a great deal of fatigue due to current work commitments, lifestyle and consistent demands of the baby and household
• Pain: your partner may experience pain or be frightened of pain during sex. Many men are frightened of hurting their partner
• Depression: you or your partner may experience depressive feelings. These feelings may be related to hormonal and life changes, personal or relationship issues
• Self-image: your partner’s perception of herself as an individual, a “woman and a partner”. She may have doubts about her ability as a mother and her attractiveness to you and she may have concerns about her future and personal goals

Your sexual relationship is one part of a loving relationship. Do not make the mistake of linking sex with affection.

Whatever your feelings about sex or anything else for that matter, try to talk it over with your partner.

Acknowlegements

We thank Salih Ozgul, Senior Clinical Psychologist Australian National University and Alan Grochulski, Clinical Nurse Consultant Liaison Psychiatry, Royal North Shore Hospital for allowing us to reproduce this information from their booklet ‘Wow Dad’.

For more information on Tresillian’s Hey Day programs, contact the Education & Research Unit on (02) 9787 0869.

Mensline Australia is a professional and anonymous telephone support and information service specialising in relationship and family concerns. Mensline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for the cost of a local call.

Mensline Australia

Tel: 1300 789 798
Website: www.menslineaus.org.au